Blogi: Herrarude

The one.

11.1.2012 18:42

I still remember all those days, the days i were alive.
I still remember the warmth you caused. The everlasting burn.

Now i am cold, the whole core of what i once called myself is now in frost.
Cold and lonely.
Every morning is agony, every breath breaks me into spliters.
I torment myself by looking your picture, every day, before the end.
Nothing is like it used to be, even the sun feels cold compared to the feelings i had.
Now my core is depleted, im nothing more than an empty shell.

I hope our paths shall cross once more. I wish for a second chanse to correct the things i did, what i said.
You have a new life out there, with someone else.
And still these walls whisper your name, the wind and the rain.
I am void, i am cold, i am the last, i am the forgotten.

Now i need to carry on by myself, wear the mask of my past self.
The fake smile hurts more every day.

I still remember all those days, the days i were alive.
I still remember the warmth you caused. The everlasting burn.

Even if everything dies, my love for you is immortal.

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Beloved

11.1.2012 18:42

From the depths of eternity, from the everlasting void i heard your call.
The crystal clear voice of an siren called to me. Fighting thru nightmares,
My heart started to sing once again, rejecting all warnings, telling me to jump.
For the withering moment, for the setting sun and all that is pure, i hope someday you
would be mine. Hear my call, the undying oath; i give myself to you, i give my heart to you.
You are my dream, my last hope in this world.

Take my hand and be alive
Take my hand and be mine.
For the glory of tomorrow, let me in your inner circle.

For once you falled apart,
got broken, and scattered in the dust.
Time of your ressurection is near,
let me be the one, whom shall heal you and your scarred heart.

I'll give you my hear, my toughts, my soul, my everything, the only thing that makes me feel is you.
Break me, tear me, devour me, destroy me, and i wouldn't care.
Tear me to pieces, its nothing compared to the pain you suffer day to day, let me take you away.

I didn't ask for this,
I didn't ask for these feelings,
im afraid youll go away.
Keep me my darling,
let me become your darkness,
let me embrace you and take your scars away.

Take my hand and be alive
Take my hand and be mine.
For the glory of tomorrow, let me in your inner circle.

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Hatered

11.1.2012 18:41

'll paint my pain
Create an image for my suffering
Just to burn it all...
Im calling the rain
to wash away the sins of yesterday
to make this plain clear once again

My place is forbid
my skyplace is overthroned
it's better ot reign in hell than serve in heaven.
This is my remose
my repent
give me what i deserve
Come fort, from the darkness, into the light.

May the heavens weep in sorrow,
and the grounds tremble in fear
for darkness has been summoned
and the end shall soon be here.

Lost in the world, abandoned
catching the wind, retribution
Kiss the shadows, embracement
Selfdestructin, salvation.

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You.

11.1.2012 18:41

I still carry your picture in my pocket. I tell myself i dont need it, i dont care.
You banished me, rejected me, exiled me.
Now i wander on the shores of despair.
The waves washes away my tears, only sins remain.
Twisted, burned, left to live.

Wrath, pain, desolation, the enthroned things in my life,
Occupating my toughts, poisoning me, burning me.
The blade is calling me, it has been so silent for years,
now its calling me, the pain is sedutive once again.
Drown me in blood, cold, black as the ocean.
And the shores of despair remains.

Deformed, twisted, tortured. My being so dismembered. Crouching to the shore.
Trembling with pain, hoping to perish. I tried to rip my heart out, it turned to dust and
got carried with the wind. I cling on my last resorts, pain, hatered, corruption, and the urge to kill.
I seal your picture, and replace my heart with it. It stays inside, along these cursed vains.
I dont need you, i dont need anyone. Your corrupted hearts cant stand the sight of me anymore.
Filthy, disposed, decayed, so unclean. Cleanse me, purify my soul and send me back to the light.
Let the sun warm my frozen limbs and let me be free...

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Shores of despair again.

11.1.2012 18:40

I can feel it, my blood getting colder,
my veins freezing and stagnating my heart.
Finally gathered all the pieces i called my life.
I pulled the stake from my heart and pulled myself together,
i feel the pain, but still im numb.
My urge to kill grows stronger,
my hate piles up in exponental measures,
im ready to burst once again.
the shores of despair are calling me,
i thing im starting my pilgrimage once more.
This time ill build the walls a mile high.
Fortifying the walls with my blood, my soul.
This time none can hurt me, none can kill me again.
Sometimes i run in circles, looking for you,
depressing my self further on, and hoping for a new dawn.
Lying to myself is the best thing i can do now,
still knowing that the dawn never breaks...

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There's a place, far far away.

11.1.2012 18:38

Im on my limit, on the verge of selfdestruction, hoping to fade away.
The sweet embrace of death wriggles around me day and night, trying to grasp me.
I go on with my pathetic life, trying to survive to the next day, still hoping to fade away.
My feelings are out of order, and my mind is starting to collapse, theres no direction i could take,
not anymore. Im cursed to live on, till the day i finally sleep away. The sweet slumber is taunting me,
laughing at me, the one thats still alive. Im drowning on myself, and losing myself at the same time.
For once in my life, can't i be happy, satisfied? Why doesnt the sun warm me as it did for so long ago?
Im so cold, cold as the grave thats calls me, binds me to my fate. Tearing me apart, my feelings torwards
the kind of men. I need to get away, a fresh start somewhere far far away.

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