What's up?

Hi,

I did not sleep well last night. I was dreaming about many things what I would like to have in my life.

Nothing special, just normal life :)
I also wrote bit's of the script what I have been working on / off type for some time already now.

This year has been most weird so far in my life.
Childhood is over and adulthood knocks my door and sometimes bangs my head to the walls. Like the police what suspected me of robbery of grocery store in Helsinki Kallio.

I think these two police made good job when they came to my door.

As an expirience it was at least interesting, get handcuffs to my wrists and be observing while police went through my home.

I was co-operating offcourse because I have nothing to hide or any other way need to protect me from law. :)

I have lot's of fears, and paranoia. I have noticed that every time I sleep not well these things came little bit stronger, fear comes first and then I get suspicious of things. That's why I have been studying the activity in my own computer, to know what's happening and what I do imagine and what not.

Sometimes I feel that I'm crippled in life because of the psychiatric symptoms what I have.
Many times they control or prevent me doing things what would be perfectly normal in many ways.

I also try to think further decisions what could affect to my life in long term, and many times I'm insecure of making decisions fast. At least when I have chance so think before I make decision.
Unfortenatly many times people demand to have decision right a way, example in business negotiations.

This kind of things is easier to decide because most times they are "quite harmful" decisions.

But when I put my own business up things got complicated, right now I'm in the edge of shut down that, because I do not have energy to manage that right now.

And it would be the "right thing to do" - in this situation.

But that's the end of that!

Now I'm going to cheer up a bit and relax :)
And how I'm going to do that?
Play some computer games and listen reggae from Spotify :)

Damian Marley, Peter Tosh, and many other rulez!

Thx for possible interest, keep safe, take care, see ya soon :)