I have witnessed my share of life, through different mediums and lifestyles, living abroad, and traveling, yet nowhere else, than in these internet dating sites, do I come across with funny paradoxes in such amount. People have always wanted things they cannot have, or are hard to achieve, and I understand that. In this, I vaguely try to point to direction of various females, since I have had no good conversations with too many men, about this subject. The few who I have chatted or talked with, mostly share my view though. It is mostly men who want, and girls who are just looking. That I do not understand. At least by browsing through various comments and conversations, I can see how men seem really desperate. The few who are not sexual perverts and scary massrapistmurderers look-alikes, are seen as ones nevertheless, just because of them few sickos who send pictures of their penises and graphic details of what they want.
As a man, If you publish a link, its automagically thought to be some sort of scam site, porno, or other malicious stuff. If you send someone a message that is short, they think you to be basic chump, stupid couchpotato. If you send a longer message, they think you to be a nerd, with no interest in real life. If you flirt, you’re only after sex, if you don’t, you’re boring, no sparkles.
In many cases, no matter what you say, you get no answer, not even a reply to say ”no thank you”. I know some, maybe all, female marked profiles, get sometimes a lot of messages, making answering to everyone real pain, but that shouldn’t be an excuse to be cold and outright mean even. To me, saying nothing is one of the most impolite things one can do, and so far, I have seen that 90%+ of people ignore my messages completely. So, as a man, looking for something through internet dating is more of a winning in a lottery than anything.
As a woman, if you publish a picture of yourself, that seems to give men a reason enough to send their own, naked one, with a complimentary text about how they can lift 200kgs with their testicles. If a man receives a message from a girl, often I have noticed, that the girl hasn’t spent much time bothering to read the man’s profile. There might be one word from a bunch of text, that is the only thing that attracts the girl to send a message, and when you reply to such a person, in most cases, you get either inquiries about something that is detailed in your profile already, or just the cold silence again. Female profiles often have longer lists of things they want from other, and I don’t wonder. Girls get to choose, where as men, unless you’re famous, rich, 2 meter tall, doctor or other university degree superman, don’t have that luxury. Assuming things is also very popular, like the most common assumption, if you’re unemployed, you have to be stupid, non-civilized, lazy, poor, alcoholic or drug using loser.
The point of this text was lost during writing it, but I think you can find some things from it, that are relatively true. I hope, that I might be able to give someone a little better perspective about how not to be a complete dick, to give people a chance, and to be a little less cold and ignorant. There are good things out there, but if you keep your eyes closed, you just miss them, even if they come out and try to rouse your interest.
The reason this is written in english, is that I hope more people would have chance to understand it, and those who don’t, need not to. Stupidity is universal, but it really shows, if you cannot read most commonly used languages. I bet, the same people who have trouble reading this in english, would have as much so if it were in finnish.
