Roskaposteista poimittuja, vol.27

Tämmöistä tänään... :-)

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The telephone rings ...

"Hello, Señor Lucky? This is Manuel the caretaker at your country house, in the Dominican Republic."
"Ah yes, Manuel. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor, that your parrot died."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Señor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Señor"
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Señor Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Señor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Señor."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"
"Your wife's, Señor...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."

SILENCE.................

"Manuel, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"

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Management Lesson

Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office ...
But she had a boyfriend...

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said,
"I'll give you a $1000 dollars if you let me screw you"
But the girl said "NO WAY!"

Johnny said, "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up"

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend ... So, she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says "Ask him for $2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down!"

So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks "What happened?"

She said "The bastard used coins!!"

So Management lesson is: Always consider a business proposal in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.